Beautiful Life

Life is so good but also so hard.  Is it just me, or do we as women automatically place unrealistic expectations on ourselves?  I know I do.  And it's very difficult to escape those expectations once they've become our "standard" of who we think we should be.  At what point do we say enough is enough, I'm just fine being my imperfect self.  Because really, none of us are perfect.  I wake up every morning at 6am and begin my morning exercising.  I love the feeling of being physically strong and one of my favorite things to do is to get outside and run.  Call me crazy but I actually enjoy training for marathons.  I have one coming up in October and I'm super excited about it.  I'm so glad that I discovered my love for running and it has helped me in so many ways.  I can't even begin to express how grateful I am to my Heavenly Father for my healthy body that allows me to run and keep up with my five children.  But everyday I have to face the demons.  Those voices in my head that tell me I'm not pretty enough and that no matter how much I exercise, my body will never look the way I want it to.  After having 5 kids, no my body will never look the same.  I'm not against having a "mommy makeover" but it's crazy expensive and invasive and, even if I had the money, I don't know if that would really take away my insecurities.  Stupid insecurities.  I feel like they have held me back my whole life.  The truth is that I am so incredibly blessed to be a mom.  Every stretch mark, vericose vein, or whatever is there because I was able to carry 5 children full term and nurse them as babies.  How can I be upset or unhappy about that?  They are my joy.  I can't imagine my life without them.  So all I can figure is that I have to make a choice.  I will face that choice every day.  I can choose to love my body, imperfections and all, and be happy that I am healthy and strong.  Or I can give in to those nagging, worldly voices that bring me down.  I want to choose happiness.  I want to be a happy mom who would do anything for her kids.  I can't let the financial stresses of life get to me either.  Supporting a family of 7 is no small feat.  My husband works hard and I do what I can to help.  We don't have a perfect house but we have food on the table.  We don't have fancy clothes but our children are able to participate in sports and music and attend wonderful schools.  We don't go on Disney vacations but we live in a great community and neighborhood.  I can choose to be happy today and focus on helping others.  Enjoy this challenging but amazing season of my life.  And give thanks each day to The One who gave me this beautiful life.  I am a work in progress and I'm glad to be me.

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